Friends

Mark and I experienced two EXTREMELY wonderful cabaret's this week; on Sunday night, we went to La Mirada and saw Michael perform in Upright's American Icon Cabaret Series and last night we went to Ramsey's to see David Burnham's solo show. Both were AH-MAZING, each in their own way!

Michaek Arden at Upright

I love anything that Michael does and I truly do love the way he draws audiences in to his performances with the heart and feeling he puts into his songs. He's real and genuine when he sings and bares all to his audience. When Michael sings in these cabaret settings, you really feel like he's showing you a piece of his heart. He sang a few Joni Mitchell songs for the first set ("California" - which he said was to celebrate his 1 year anniversary of moving to California :), "He Comes for Conversation," and "A Case of You.") :)

The second set was songs that mostly dealt with water (he explained that oddly enough, that's how it turned out.) :D Among them was the beautiful "River in the Rain" from Big River. Just amazing!! But I think the number that I enjoyed the most that he sang was "Not Afraid." :) :) :) "Not Afraid" was the song he wrote for his musical "Easter Rising" which he almost NEVER sings. It was gorgeous! And Michael sang it the way I'd always hoped to hear it -- and of course he should, it's his song after all! Just absolutely beautiful!!

Matt Cusson (who also is AMAZING!) and Valarie Pettiford also performed sets that night as well (and Ty Taylor appeared as a guest performer). It was an all-around amazing night!!

One last thing I have to mention about the concert... David Elzer was there, and the sweetheart that he is, he gave up his seats for us and we had AMAZING seats up front and had the best view of the show. David knows how much I like Michael and he was sweet enough to upgrade our seats...) How amazing is he? I love him! ♥

( Photos of Michael's concert! )

David Burnham at Ramsey's!

Last night Mark & I went to see David Burnham's concert at Ramsey's. David sang a mix a songs from standards to broadway songs, to things in between. What I really love about David, and his concert is that he's SO funny and entertaining. VERY different from Michael in presentation, David is a showman and he does it VERY well. He's likable, endearing, and just hilarious on stage.

Couple of my favorite moments - David sang "Run Away With Me" - which is one of my favorite songs -- EVER! It was gorgeous in his hands and he told me later that he was recording it for his new CD that will be coming out soon! I can't wait! :D Another favorite moment was when he brought out a little "King & I" prince doll and said it was modeled after him since he was the voice for the cartoon version of the character in the animated version. :) He sang a song from the show with the doll propped up on the chair and when it was done, he had the doll bow... VERY cute.

Probably the most touching moment was when he spoke about his mother, who passed away, but had (since he was 8) encouraged him to follow his dreams and to do what makes him happy. VERY touching and SO lovely... When he finished the song and blew a small kiss to heaven, I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

The concert was AMAZING (in a much different way from Michael's...) It was entertaining, funny, and showcased, not only David's amazing vocals, but his personality and his showmanship as well. :) We enjoyed it SOOO much!! :)

( Photos of David Burnham's concert )

Two fabulous concert performances by two of my favorite musical theatre performers!! What a great way to start and end our fabulous trip here in LA! We have a couple more days here,... but no theatre left. Today I'm taking Mark to the Star Trek Exhibit on Hollywood & Highland and we're eating a nice long dinner at SoupPlantation. :) Should be an incredible last day in LA. :) Have a nice week, all! HUGS!

29 Gifts In 29 Days: Day 7

This is the real challenge I've taken on. These words you see before you. The challenge I've accepted is to keep giving, writing and posting about my experiences publicly every day regardless of how I feel.

Today I feel emotionally raw, physically chilled and wanting to roll up in a ball. But I had a client to see today, so my job is to show up. Take the body and the mind will follow, as they say. So I did show up, I put aside the emotional baggage and was one hundred percent available to my client. Showing up is my gift today. Showing up here in writing, showing up on time and being available to the work that's in front of me and that which moves through me.

I came home and watched, "Man On Wire" on Netflix again, which I haven't seen since I saw it in a theater last year. The trailer makes me weep with the joy and wonder of it all. Watch it and see if you don't agree.



It's available on Instant Watch if you have Netflix here.

P.S. - I am doing the Noon Day Meditation at Agape International Spiritual Center in Culver City, California tomorrow, the meditation starts at 12:15 and ends at 12:45pm. This is my planned gift for tomorrow. If you are in the area, I'd love to have you join me. Come and say hello afterward and we can share the bonus gift of a hug. If you are too shy for that, just bring the present of your presence and we will enjoy the silence together.

Directions are here. The meditation is free.

This week has not been great. It's not been horrifying (for me), but I've definitely had better.

Last week, for example. Last week I went to the very, very north, with Chris. We had a little cottage in a little village, from which we went for very, very small walks, car based adventures to Durness and John O'Groats, took photos, watched DVDs, set fire to things (it had a fire place), read books, ate good food, and did very little more.

Here's a couple of the photos I took, because otherwise I'll get in trouble. There are a lot more, which I'll post some of, later.


Here's the tail end of a rainbow, in Balnakeil Bay. It was a full double bow. I have some merges to put back together of it.


And here's a cracking cloud over Ben Hope.

This week, we won the pub quiz, which is good, and I saw Eddie Izzard in Glasgow, which was excellent. I went out with Karen and Susan, who I used to work with, on Friday, which was great, as it involved two people I like a lot and don't see much, and also excellent Thai food. But when I got home, I had a series of missed calls waiting for me which became really crappy news, which took the gloss off the day a bit. And I can't fix it.

I also worked 53, yes, 53 hours. I am contracted to work 35 hours a week. That's 12 hours of overtime, and 6 hours of flex. Still, I got the thing I said I'd do done, and my annual review, which determines pay rise and bonus, is on Wednesday.

I got in from work about half an hour ago, so it's time for bed. Hopefully I've been here long enough to save me from dreaming about targeting income from a pension fund.

Yesterday I went to Jeff's place for a super-fun Cranium party. I was very excited because I LOVE playing Cranium and I'm also very competitive and love WINNING Cranium. I showed up to win.

Unfortunately for me, hardly anyone else there was very proficient at this particular game. Which is ok, it's definitely still fun. I'm just used to playing with Brent as my partner and absolutely killing all the other teams at a swift pace. The whole point of this is not to rag on my team mates though (however, I DID get asked if Marie Curie was one person or two) but to discuss the following;

I pulled a card where I had to get my team to guess that I was Jian Ghomeshi (no one guessed it) and then I was wondering... Does Jian play Cranium? What if he pulled that card? Would he just say... "I'm me"?

Do famous people play board games? Can you be considered famous when somebody says "I'm the host of Q on CBC Radio and the former drummer of Moxy Früvous" and two random guys have no clue who you are?

On this day:

In 2008 -
In 2007 - I love re-reading my angry posts
In 2006 - haha! Another angry work post!
In 2005 - I do not remember the log-in to reactivate my old photobucket account

Saw a second showing of PARADE yesterday at the Taper and I have to say,... at first I was a little apprehensive about seeing the show again. The first time I saw it, on Friday night... it affected me so much (it was so morally disturbing to me...) that I knew I'd have a hard time seeing it again.

This time we were sitting in the front row, near center... SOOOO close that I could literally see the actors' make up. It was... a bit too close for me. For such a emotional show,... it may have been a bit TOO personal to be that close to the actors. But, I think being so close made the show even more incredible,... it was amazing.

For some reason, seeing it a second time made the show click for me. I'd always loved the music, and I knew the Leo / Lucille Frank / Parade story by heart, but I think it really took seeing it a second time for me to see the AMAZING-NESS (not I word, I know...) of the production. I was blown away the first time I'd seen it, but just seeing the starkness of the events portrayed on stage was a bit too much for me. I was morally disturbed (the only way I can put it...) images of the last few scenes haunted me for days afterward... I think seeing it a second time allowed me to get past the "events" and focus more on the AMAZING performances.

T.R. Knight was absolutely INCREDIBLE yesterday. I was able to get into his performance 100 times more than I did the first time I saw it - he was wonderful on Friday, but his vocals were SO amazing yesterday... He broke my heart. Lara Pulver is just radiant on stage as Lucille (and surprised me at the stage door with her British accent!) Will Collyer was a surprise understudy and went on (thankfully) the 1st time I saw the show on Friday, but wasn't in the show at all yesterday. I'm so glad I got to see both him and Curt Hansen in the role of Frankie Epps - both were so different in their approach to the role... The entire cast was pretty amazing!

The staging of the show, at first, was a little unsettling to me. Michael Berresee, for example, plays two pretty key characters (the Governor, and the reporter) in tandem. He'd exit the stage as one character and enter the stage the next minute as the other. This was a pretty common occurrence amongst the supporting cast (playing two or sometimes 3 key roles at once) and while I was never confused at who anyone was playing at any given time, it did (at first) disspell the image I had of the "community" of Parade... at first it was, "Oh look... there's Davis Gaines as the judge... oh look there he is again as the soldier..." Just a bit... distracting, maybe. It surprisingly didn't matter or concern me too much the second time I saw the show, though, and I could concentrate more on the AMAZING performances.

( Photos and Stage Door Stuff )

So glad I got to see the show twice! I really do think that it's one of the more amazing productions that I've seen recently! It closes this Sunday and it's a shame... such a talented cast... hope that it has a life outside of the Taper!

Still have to write about Michael's concert with Upright, BARE last night, Bonnie & Clyde at La Jolla, and seeing Bets in the Andrews Brothers (I'm slowly catching up!) Tonight is David Burnham's concert at Ramsey's!! SO excited!! :) Thanks for putting up with all my theatre babbling!! HUGS!

29 Gifts In 29 Days: Day 6

Today was lovely, but my planned gift today didn't go as planned. An old friend took me on an airplane ride to Big Bear and I had planned to pick up the tab for lunch, but the restaurant only accepted cash and I didn't have a single sawbuck on me, so she had to step up to the plate. Thank goodness someone carries money in this day and age!

So the lesson today, aside from the boy scout motto (Always be prepared! And watch out for those overly friendly troupe leaders!) is to carry cash and have a back up giving plan!

I am working tomorrow, but will only have one client so I'll beef up this entry with pictures and more tales then. For now though I'm going to be extra loving to my cats and give them plenty of treats so I'm not remiss before midnight!

So much fun was had tonight. We were supposed to all 4 go to a Whalers hockey game. I decided.. you know.. I should probably just call... to see about the tickets. Yeah.. called and it was sold out. Never imagined in a million years that would happen... but it did. So. Called Bob who was on his way.. and then we decided to just go get dinner. So we went to get dinner at Aubree's and then came back to my house to play Wii. Decided to play Boom Blox.. which was So fun. :)

So we all four sat around for like 2 hours and played the game. The kids had a blast. They wanted something sweet... so I dished out some ice cream. Bob and I were just too full.

It was good to hang out all together. I haven't spent a whole lot of time with his son... but he seems to be warming up and today he was like ready to come back tomorrow.. hehe. I know its just to play Wii... but still it felt nice to hear that.

So yeah.. it was a really great time. I am just now kinda flying high from it.

So, who all is coming out to the pj party tonight? its at the frolicon host hotel :)

Mark & I went down to Long Beach on Thursday night to see the Musical Theatre West production of Meet Me In St. Louis. I'd heard such great things about the production, and really... I haven't missed a MTW production in quite a while - so it was something that I really was looking forward to seeing.

The show itself was adorable! Grace Kaufman, who plays little Tootie was just adorable and her performance alone was worth seeing the show for! :) The thing about MTW productions that I always love is the slick, gorgeous feel of everything, the lighting, the sets, the costumes, the choreography... Truly a class act in every way. Of particular note was the ice skating scene (which, I forgot to ask Steve about,... but I wondered what kind of surface was used because it LOOKED like ice and the actors wore real ice skates and skated over the surface like it was ice, but I know it wasn't...) It was really such a visually stunning production!

Got the chance to speak with Steve - which I always love! It's been a while since I've really gotten the chance to talk with him - so this was really nice.

One of the nicest surprises was getting to see Bets, Misty, Julie, and Susannah (the Laguna cast of the Winter Wonderettes) in the audience that evening - in fact their seats were right in front of us! It was SOOO nice to see them all!! In particular it was lovely to see Julie, who I hadn't seen in maybe 3 years or so (I haven't seen her since MW closed in NoHo) She and I spoke about Lily and how she's getting into musical theatre (like mother like daughter!), Beckett and how he's 7 now (I remember when she told me she was pregnant with him!) She showed me some pictures of them on her phone and they're SO gorgeous! And really, Beckett looks exactly the same as the 6 month old baby photo of him she sent me 7 years ago, only older. SOOO cute!

Got to speak with Misty which is always lovely! She said she got home about two weeks ago and is exhausted. We spoke about NYC and Wonderettes. It was just so lovely to see her! And what a pleasure it was seeing Bets twice on this trip! :) I also was introduced to Susannah, who is very sweet (and who said she played Cindy Lou 6 years or so ago in Winter Wonderettes in Milwaukee). I think the cast of Winter Wonderettes is going to be spectacular!! I just wish I was able to go out and see it! :(

Didn't take any photos after the show. As I've said before... sometimes I feel like pulling out the camera treads the fine line of "fan/friend" and lots of times when I see folks AT shows (instead of IN shows) I don't want to bring out the camera, since I feel they deserve their privacy too. :)

I will be back with my posts about seeing Michael perform at Upright, The Andrews Brothers, PARADE, and seeing Bonnie & Clyde at La Jolla last night (I feel so far behind!) ;) Today Mark & I are seeing PARADE a second time and tonight we're seeing BARE! I'm SOOOO excited about that!!

we got up somewhat early and took the bus to the beach. we were able to do this with no stroller, which definitely equaled more freedom i think. it was an absolutely perfect beach day. ruby swam and swam in the kiddy area and made sand castles, dan swam in the too cold for me water, and i just hung out and wrote a bit. no one got sunburned.

then afterwards we went and had ice cream, which was a giant treat for ruby. then we came home and hung out while ruby failed to nap, then went and had pub dinner. it was just really nice and somehow felt like how things used to feel, pre-ruby and money stress i guess. maybe we can get back there permanantly.

i've written very little the last two days. i've got some catching up to do!

tomorrow night friends are coming for a mini supernatural marathon! new episodes exciting!

29 Gifts In 29 Days: Day 5

As we were driving to lunch yesterday, my friend S. and I were talking about the giving challenge. I had sent her an invitation to join at the website, which she did, but she said, "I have a feeling anything I write about my giving would be kind of boring because it would probably be, "Day 1 - Made dinner for my family. Day 2 - Made dinner for my family. Day 3 - Made dinner for my family. Day 4..."

In mulling over our conversation and integrating it with my insights from today, there are a couple of things I think are noteworthy to mention and I'm gonna split this into two posts because it's long and I've not got a lot of gas left in the tank tonight.

Now let's keep in mind that my friend S. is a very generous and loving person. This is something I was immediately impressed with about her from the very first moment we met. Part of what I'm realizing as I'm doing this gift challenge is that there's so much that we all do on a daily basis in the way of giving that we don't always recognize or credit ourselves for. On the other hand sometimes we find ourselves giving, giving, giving and then stewing with resentment because what we are giving isn't being recognized in the way we wish it to be recognized, or even worse, we feel taken for granted or not appreciated for the gifts we are giving or perhaps for who we are behind whatever it is we are giving. And my friend wasn't being resentful, btw. I'm just sayin'... (Hang with me, I'm going somewhere with this and hopefully we'll all get there alive over the next couple of days... LOL.)

Part of what I love about this challenge is that I am free to create my own rules as I go along and also I get to examine what's going on with me emotionally as I give. Am I giving freely out of love? Do I have any old stuff around my giving?

The law of circulation dictates that giving and receiving are one in the same activity. Nature abhors a vacuum. You can't give without receiving in some way. So perhaps part of the challenge is to notice the many ways in which we give and also to notice how it comes back to us. You may notice you can give over here, but it comes back to you from a different person or place or in a completely different form.

Notice how you give. Notice where you give. Notice how you feel when you give. Notice what's going on with you when you DON'T feel like giving and then go ahead and give anyway and see what that's like.

So today was a day of counting my blessings and also noticing the places I feel constricted about my giving. It was also a day of struggling trying to download apps and get my computer to talk to my Blackberry so I could sync everything. Argh!

Tomorrow I am being giving the gift of flight. An old friend of mine is taking me up in her plane and we're flying to Big Bear! Also tomorrow I want to talk about STRETCHING ourselves in our giving.

Today my giving consisted of sending out thank you cards and love notes for all that I've been receiving lately and that's been A LOT!

P.S. - If you want to join me in the giving challenge, join here and friend me:
http://www.29gifts.org/profile/Epiphany

OK. So I left some good teasers before. Sorry about that. Hehe.. So.. now that I have time to really sit down here and delve into things..

( Because its Long and giant...  )

Thanks to a suggestion from Mark, we decided to spend the day today tracking down the infamous LA Grilled Cheese Truck which was supposed to be located at the Brentwood Country Mart from noon to 2pm today.

We got there with lots of time to spare and was shocked by the LONG line that had already formed! We stood in line for about 1/2 hr and eventually was able to order our precious grilled cheese sandwiches. I ordered the Cheesy Mac Melt (which is actually a grilled cheese sandwich with mac & cheese & cheddar) -- SOO good! I also ordered a Dessert Sandwich (which is a grilled sandwich with roasted banana puree, nutella, and marshmellow).

But instead of me explaining them, I'd rather post pictures!!

( Grilled Cheese Truck Photos!! )

So much more amazing food on this trip, but this post was a MUST! If you're in the LA area, go and seek out the Grilled Cheese Truck! It's amazing and they are such nice people! :)

I have so much to post later.

-Carrie Underwood hot pants
-Sharon Stone
-Answered Prayers
-Defending Myself
-Dinner
-Backgammon

So yeah.. Thats the teasers for awhile... Till I have time to write more.

29 Gifts In 29 Days: Day 4

Today turned out to be the day that felt the most like my birthday. I drove out to see one of my bestest friends who I actually hadn't seen in person all dang year and we were two of the lovely ladies who lunch in Pasadena on a Thursday afternoon.

Here are my notable giving experiences of the day:

1) Thanking The Artist - I wrote an e-mail to Peter Fiore, the artist who painted that lovely picture I used at the bottom of my last post. I told him I used the graphic in my blog post and I thanked him for sharing his gifts and talents with the world. He does so many gorgeous landscapes, I would really love to see them in person in a gallery someday. He wrote me back right away and shared his experiences on the theme of coming back after a crisis as he painted that picture as he himself was recovering from a car crash. It was a wonderful exchange and I was so touched he responded in such a heartfelt way.

2) A Lovely Lady For Lunch - My friend took me to a great little restaurant in Old Town where we ate things we did not quite understand, but man, the lunch was tasty! She allowed me to pick up the tab as my gift only because she knows I'm doing the giving challenge. She had planned to treat me for my birthday, but I insisted.

3) A Gift For Him, A Gift For Me - I was FINALLY able to get to the bottom of what's been going on with my cell phone situation re: porting over my old number into a new phone and I bought myself a Blackberry Bold 9000 today. So that was my birthday gift to myself and also it's a gift to my ex because now I'm not on his cell plan anymore. The bonus of this gift is that now I'll have a camera again and I'll be able to start adding my own pictures to these posts every day if I so desire. I'd better dig into that "Getting Started" guide right away!

Now let's talk about the gifts I've been RECEIVING the past couple of days since I started this giving challenge:

1) The Gold Standard Of Givers - There's a friend in my life who doesn't know how NOT to give. He sends Amazon gift certificates not just to me, but to almost every freaking person he's friends with on their birthdays and this man has a LOT of friends. I don't want to embarrass him, he knows who he is and many of those who read this will know who I'm talking about too because he gifts us all without fail every freaking year. Thank you, my friend. I aspire to be as kind and giving as you are to all of us 365 days a year.

2) A Fabulous Facial - My lunching lady friend treated me to a relaxing facial for my birthday. I was dermaplaned, dermabraided, creamed, steamed and afterwards I gleamed! Oh my. I can easily see this becoming a new addiction. Where's the Kool Aid? I'm so ready to drink! My skin feels and looks great.

3) Hugs, Hugs & More Hugs - While I was getting my facial my friend went to pick up her daughter who has grown like a weed since the last time I saw her and when I hugged her she just kept right on hugging. I think all three of us got kind of misty eyed. I have missed both these girls so much and there was so much love going on in that moment it was overwhelming.

And as if the day wasn't fabulous enough, on the way home from their place it started sprinkling. Is it possible we might even get some rain in the next couple of days? Or am I just getting greedy now? ;-)


Fig & Finger Sandwich
Photographed by: Sarahparah

So Mark & I also saw 2 showings of Jersey Boys on Tuesday night (the 6:30pm & 9:30pm) shows. Which officially makes it my 8th & 9th time seeing the show (4 on tour, 3 on broadway, and now 2 in Vegas.) And if it hadn't been for alligatorandme and shawk's wonderful account of just what was cut from the full length version, I might not have noticed too much.

Things that I did notice... "Short Shorts" was definitely cut short - the dancers literally had to RUN across the landing before Bob starts his speech. One verse of "My Boyfriend's Back" was definitely cut... People RUN on and off the stage, up and down those stairs unlike the hurried walk in the full length version. I felt Act I was really rushed (but maybe it's because I just saw the broadway company recently and it really felt like everyone in this cast was running on and off the stage.) By the second performance I think I got used to it a bit more. I know that I'll go back to NY, see the full length version and feel like it's dragging now. ;)

( Performances )

As soon as we got out of the 6:30pm show, we literally had to turn right back around to stand in line for the 9:30pm show. There was no down time or anything... It was exhausting just watching the two shows, I can't imagine what it must be like for the cast!

( Photo! )

I'm glad we got to see the Vegas cast and two different Frankies - now I need to go back to NY and see the broadway cast with Jarrod... and then I think I'll be good - Jersey Boys - wise. :)

i'm going to try my hand at making homemade corn tortillas tonight!

ruby's audition was fine, and she got a book about fairies which she is really into. this is backlash. you'd think i'd meet all these crazy stage parents at these things but they all seem pretty much okay, and don't try to destroy me or anything.

i've been making yarn out of old t-shirts. it's really pretty cool. i'm going to make shopping bags out of the yarn, call them 'upcycled' and sell them at the market. upcycled.

we've been doing this thing where we always shut the lid of the toilet before we flush it. it's made our toilet get much dirtier much much quicker. so all that was just going out into the air i guess. grody.

i've been so tense while i've been sleeping. i need to solve that.

We've made some additions and improvements to Notes!

The Notes feature has been added to two action-taking pages:

• You can now add a Note directly on the Add a friend page - handy if you'd like to mark down where you met them or another name you know them by!
• On the Ban and unban users page (under Account -> Privacy) you can now add a Note, including to a group of users all banned at the same time (so that next year you won't need to ask yourself "hey, why did I ban these guys?")

Other changes:

• When you're viewing your existing Notes they're grayed out; click in a field to activate it to change the text (this page can be found from the header by using Profile -> Manage Notes)
• Changes to editing:
  • When you're going to create a new Note but one already exists, you'll get a warning that you're editing an existing Note
  • You can now delete a note from the "Edit note" pop-up in the hover menu
  • You can now delete notes for multiple selected users on the Manage notes page
  • When you change Notes on "Ban|unban users" page, they can be edited and saved with "Save Changes" button

29 Gifts In 29 Days: Day 3

I was originally supposed to go to Disneyland today for my birthday with the ex and when he stepped out of the picture a couple of my friends said they would go with me, but after recent events I felt like I wanted to spend some time alone in the stillness.

Here were a few of my opportunities to give during the day:

1) Call For Prayer - Both my cell and my home phone were ringing all morning while I was trying to sleep in, but it was kinda cool. I felt like a rock star. :-) When I checked my messages I had gotten a call from a lovely woman who had attended one of my forgiveness workshops awhile back requesting prayer. What a pleasure it was to give the gift of prayer as my first offering of the day!

2) Project Happy Birthday To Us - Birthday greetings for all my Facebook friends who share the same appearance day as I do. I'm probably going to continue doing this every day during the giving challenge so this is the last time I'll put it on the list so as not to bore ya'll.

3) Hello Old Friend - Part of what I've started doing during this giving challenge is to go through closets and old boxes of stuff to look for what I can release and give away to someone else who might appreciate it more. While doing this I found a stack of old photos an ex had sent to me during our "getting to know you" cross country love affair, which now feels like several lifetimes ago. He's also a Scorpio who had a birthday a few days before mine, so I sent him a funny card along with the pictures. I love snail mailing people things. It's the whole message in a bottle concept: tossing things out into the stream knowing somewhere across the city or country, it will go from my hands to theirs and touch so many other hands and lives along the way. There's something magical about that, don't you think?

4) My Gift To Me - There's a place in the mountains where I've been going hiking since I was 17. Whenever I need to think, that's where I go. It feels like my own open air living room. The last time I was there I ran across a rattlesnake on the trail so I was a little bit leery of going back, but today felt like a good day to face my fears, so I donned my hiking boots and off I went. On the way there I got gas and went in to the convenience store to get something to drink. For some reason I felt compelled to tell the guy who was working behind the counter, "It's my birthday!" And his eyes got very wide. He said, "It's my birthday too! What time were you born?" He was born around 5am, I beat him to the punch, I was ready to party at 2:37am. We wished each other a happy birthday. What fun!

The hike was a trip. Almost every time I go there I am completely alone, I rarely see any cars, people or even any animals when I'm out there and the place looks relatively the same even after all these years. Today a good deal of the brush was cut back and it looks like they are getting ready to do some building construction right near the entrance of the "No Trespassing" gate I routinely trespass through. As I hiked in silence I noticed the dry creek bed and thought wistfully of what it looks like there after it rains. As I was plodding along I started noticing my feet were making a weird noise and when I looked down the soles of my boots were peeling off! Both boots took that moment to spontaneously start shedding their soles. They were flapping so much I couldn't walk in them, so I reached down and peeled the soles clean off. I was far into the mountains by now, but knew I'd have to turn back as I was walking on crumbling rubber and underneath that, the leather of the boot itself. But I wanted to get up to a clearing so I could have a good look at the mountains before I left. I turned a bend in the road and... whoa. The Station Fire.

I hadn't seen any evidence of it until I turned the corner and the entire landscape ahead of me was burned to the ground. There was nothing there. Not a tree, not a bush. It looked like the surface of the moon. Even the rocks were scorched. It was startling. I felt like I had been unexpectedly hit in the face. Tears sprang to my eyes. It was there that I stopped and prayed. While I was praying I thought of the transformational nature of fire and of a story I'd heard about how there is a particular seed pod that actually needs to be scorched by fire before it germinates. I thought about how sometimes familiar structures need to be destroyed to wake us up, to clear the ground and to provide opportunity for new growth and for something better to take it's place. Even as I was praying I looked down and noticed a few little plants burned down to dirt level with new green shoots coming up already. You can't keep Mother Nature down, baby. She just keeps gettin' right back up!

On the way out my boots had numerous pieces of gravel imbedded in the soft crumbling rubber where my soles had been. My hike in had been quiet, but my hike out was LOUD. I thought about the walk and asked what the lesson of it was. The answer I got was that I walked in to shed my soul (my twin soles, in fact) and that I walked out, more vulnerable, less sure footed, but that from here on out I can be expected to be makin' a whole lot of NOISE!

5) Birthday With Mom - I ended my day by visiting with my mom who is now 86 and lives on her own, but doesn't leave the house anymore. In true ancient Roman tradition I brought her a small, sweet cake so we could celebrate my birthday together and I could give thanks to her for having birthed me into the world.



"New Growth After The Burn"
Artist: Peter Fiore

29 Gifts In 29 Days: Day 2

I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah

The wonderful opportunity I see as the challenge of giving every day is that it has completely shifted my focus, not about giving, because as a spiritual practitioner I have chosen a life of service and I do give of my time, talent and treasure, but now there is an urgency factor involved. I wake up and think, "I have 24 hours! I need to give a gift! What shall I give today?" This urgency factor forces my brain to be creative in finding new ways to give, knowing it's not about things, it's about the energy of the Universe that's moving in and as and through me as the gift.

Keeping that in mind, here are some of the gifts that I gave today:

1) Project Happy Birthday To Us - As I did yesterday, I wrote individual messages to all my Facebook friends who had a birthday today.

2) Debt Forgiveness - Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. And look! It already has the word give built right in. Today I called AT&T and gave them the gift of cash money. Part of what I need to do to have a clean break with the ex is to get my phone number off his cell plan and establish my own account. I have a residential line of my own, but I owed AT&T big bucks for an old closed account. So today I called and made the final payment to clean off the slate. Tomorrow if I can touch base with him we'll get the number ported over. Feels good to finally have that done!

3) Say Anything - The Internet is so amazing. Anything you want, anything you need, anything you care to share can instantly be communicated. All we need to do is to put it out there in a clear way so we are seen and heard. I forget that simply putting out who I am; sharing my thoughts, feelings and insights is yet another way I can give of my gifts. And I don't know what it is, I've kept a blog on the 'net since before they called 'em blogs, but I forget that sometimes people actually read this stuff and take the time to respond with thoughts, feelings and insights of their own.

So the past couple of days, prior to deciding to take on this challenge and before telling anyone about the breakup, I felt very alone and isolated. So I started writing... because that's what I do. I'm a writer. I write. What I didn't realize as I reared back and pitched out my little cyber message in a bottle was that this message would actually reach so many different shores.

Last night before I went to bed, I uploaded the "Lemons" post here. In the morning I woke up, opened up my e-mail client and watched with astonishment as the comments, birthday greetings and love poured in. I can not tell you how touched I was. I remain endlessly grateful for each one of you who took the time to toss out a bottle of your own in response.

Writing this blog daily for the next 27 days is my gift to you to thank you for rescuing me out of my isolation out here on the obscure little island called Los Angeles. Thank you for being along on this journey with me.



Walked out this morning, don't believe what I saw
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone in being alone
Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home