Once Upon a Time...

My friend Ryan started this, and by God, I'm gonna finish it!


In the fourth grade something "clicked" in my head.  I haven't the slightest idea what.  I read two novelletes:  One about a fictional author of "Dear Abby" and the other about a girl who turns into a mermaid.

I read them back to back and I've been reading novels ever since.

I loved reading before then.  My father had all his collection of MAD magazine (most all of them since '58) as well as collecitons of Peanuts, The Wizard of ID and Tumbleweed.

When going on nights out and leaving us with the baby sitter, my parents would pick up a "grab bag" of comics for us three children to read.  You can thank them (I'm guessing my father had a lot to do with the comics) for bringing me directly in the sights of X-Men, as Wolverine battled the Brood in the first comic I laid eyes on.

In Sixth grade the ante upped.  I had three close friends in Austin - Justin, Adam and Micah and Adam showed me "The Hobbit".  Seventh grade brought "Lord of the Rings".  I'm still trying to find better and still failing.

Everything since then has been a blur of good and bad.  I've transitioned primarly to audiobooks now, but I still do enjoy the paper read.  Most notably the wonderful "World War Z - An oral history of the zombie war" by Max Brooks.  Read this.  Read it now.  You will thank me big big later.
 

You walk a mystical path, and are a creature of the spiritual and the supernatural. You are introspective and self-reliant, but nobody will ever question your bravery or commitment to justice.

Take the quiz!

The Top 10 Reasons to Marry a Nerd

10: They’ll never leave you (heck, they weren’t expecting to get someone as wonderful as you in the first place!).

9: All men have expensive hobbies, but nerd’s hobbies occasionally make millions of dollars (Bill Gates in his garage).

8: You don’t have to spend the next 70 years talking to someone who is the intellectual equivalent of John Madden.

7: They will buy you things.  See #10 for reason. Please note you will have to instruct them what to buy you.  They are oblivious but happy to please.

6: The tip?  Oh yeah, they can calculate the tip.  The sales tax? Fifteen percent off that dress?  Yah, they can calculate that too.

5: When you have children, they will sit down and watch the cartoons with them instead of switching to “the game”.

4: If you are in danger, they will spazz out and Nerd-Fu to protect you.  Think of Marty McFly in “Back to the Future”.

3: In bed? They’re willing to try anything.  Come on, they dressed as Bobba Fett for Comic-Con, what do you think they won’t do for you?

2: Statistically speaking, you’re talking about a much, much bigger income.

1: The goals of a jock are to drink, party and have sex with as many women as possible.  The goal of a nerd is the save the princess and live happily ever after.

Every night in summer the back porch light stays on through the darkness.

This is not to retard the access of a would-be robber, but to facilitate the feeding of our ancillary pets – the toads.

Last year the star was a three legged hopper we dubbed “Tripod”.

This year the star is Two-Tone, so named because the two sides of his head are of markedly different hue, though the attached pictures do not show it well.

Two-Tone is the most regular, and therefore the fattest, of our warty guests, but I also snapped a pick of one of his companions.

As long as the light burns, dozens, perhaps hundreds of insects flutter close. Often the June Bugs wander to the ground, spinning about and catching the eye of the waiting amphibians.  You can almost, almost hear the sound of their tongues flicking out.  Like any good magic trick, the bugs disappear forever.

I’m rather fond of toads and frogs.  If I can give them an extra snack by flicking a switch, then by all means, let the midnight oil burn.